Howdy, strangers!!
It’s been too long. Welcome back to a special compendium of Mess fashions for paid subscribers only. Much has happened in the interim since we last spoke, and I’m not just talking about my descent into TSITP-fueled madness.
For example, I ate what was easily the best chicken pita of my life. A pita which then felled me in a matter of hours with an insane bout of food poisoning. This is what I get for bragging about all the good eats I was getting up to in Maine the other week. Is there any experience more humbling in this world than food poisoning? Especially as someone who generally has an iron stomach and the constitution of a horse???
On the bright side, when not violently ill, I did get to touch perhaps the plushest, most luxurious cashmere J.Crew sweater I’ve ever touched in my life while endlessly perusing the aisles of Marden’s. Tragically, it was an XS and despite scouring the aisles for its larger twin there was none to be found. However, if you’re so inclined, there do seem to be a number of these cardigans still available for purchase secondhand online (1, 2, 3, 4), although of course not in the color or low price I found on that faithful day.
That said, I must now admit that this week I impulse purchased a stunning baby blue suede Prada jacket off The Real Real that instantly supplanted that sweater as the most incredible thing I’ve ever laid hands on. This is my second, deeply discounted Prada outerwear purchase from that website and both have instantly changed my entire outlook on my wardrobe and its possibilities. I sense a new shopping addiction looming on the horizon. And if I can give you all one singular shopping recommendation in this life — aside from buying Prada coats that it’s too hot outside to actually wear — it’s to watch The Real Real’s men’s section like a hawk because I consistently find insane GEMS at insane prices over there, and no men I know are actually shopping them.
Also, are y’all familiar with the insanity that is a Marden’s superstore? Because this was my first visit and it is like a 99¢ store on Walmart steroids. It is where capitalism goes to die. If you want to be truly repelled and dumbstruck by the gluttonous excess that is America, Marden’s is your spot. Nothing is in its original packaging, it’s all just dumped into dusty bins and piled high on shelves completely willy-nilly like a giant Supermarket Sweep scavenger hunt. But I love all the random stuff you end up shopping side by side like one endless department store non sequitur. One second you’re looking at a milk frother, the next you’re immersed in heavy duty carpentry equipment and rhinestoned Betty Boop pens. It’s a bricolage of consumer goods truly no other store can offer you and I genuinely feel it unlocks the creative mind in some ineffable way. This is exactly why I love to browse a flea market and one of the great losses of the online shopping renaissance!!!
In further delightful news, friend of the letter and spouse of the pod
FINALLY relaunched her newsletter as FLESH WORLD and it is truly a sight to behold. Not only is the branding by OG Mess Muse absolutely divine, but it just feels like Jess has landed on the perfect turn of phrase to encapsulate the nature of what she does. I’m obsessed! And to celebrate that title change plus the official launch of the this month, we are throwing a little party on September 10 at the bar St. Dymphna’s in the East Village where you will be regaled with some of the best, most deranged fashion and beauty essays to ever grace the internet. Paid subs are getting early access to tickets for that party at the end of this email and, if you really want to go, I suggest you get in there because I don’t think many tickets are going to make it to the general public by Friday!Also this weekend is the VMAs! Can you believe! Let’s livestream the red carpet together!!! I will be going live on Substack and YouTube ~6pm Sunday and would love to see you there. If you can’t make it, I’ll also do a fashion recap for paid subs next week as this is typically one of my favorite red carpets of the year.
As I said, behind the paywall, an exclusive link for tickets to our live event next week, PLUS all my thoughts on the Taylor Swift/Travis Kelce engagement, another weirdo Mess trend forecast that has manifested before our very eyes, Kim K’s latest orthopedic fashion flop, and I crown a new king of menswear! Let’s goooo!
