A coquette in Gag City
Who will be the first brand to stunt cast Gypsy Rose Blanchard?
Hello, Messketeers! Happy almost New Year!
I hope your holiday was/is nice and you’re basking in this rare period of profound leisure time. As foretold in last week’s email, I’ve been spending my days watching a bunch of movies, including Dream Scenario, Past Lives, and Barbie. I thought they were all very enjoyable, even though Past Lives almost broke me and, in the case of Barbie, it is a very weird experience to watch something for the first time that I’ve seen almost the entirety of already via TikTok clips. Although obviously, I have no one but myself to blame for that as I’m extremely late to watching the cultural sensation of the summer. But I thought it was a very nicely packaged Mattel ad all in all.
Since we last spoke, I’ve also become completely possessed by the idea of building and decorating my own dollhouse??? I genuinely can’t explain this newfound fixation. It all started because my friend Tate recently began building a dollhouse of her own and, as she is one of the mad geniuses who creates the Bergdorf holiday windows every year, it is obviously a piece of pure crafting fantasy. And so, with this new obsession sparked in my brain, I have been stalking Facebook marketplace all week looking for the perfect kit to build and customize to my heart’s content. This all feels very much like the insane undertaking of someone who knows they will never own an actual home and so must purge all their interior design impulses on a toy. But also, in my Facebook hunting, I stumbled across this old man from Connecticut who has been a “master dollhouse builder for 35 years” and is attempting to sell one of his dollhouses on there for $36,000 and he has provided me with a new and glorious vision of what my life could become. And while I don’t think Facebook marketplace is necessarily the best venue for such a transaction, I noticed he had to specifically write in the description “Please be kind in our remarks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” and the idea that there are people out there bullying this retired artisan over the turn-of-the-century wood mansion he built by hand breaks my heart. Not on my watch, you bullies! Nothing but respect for my master dollhouse builder.
Anyway, I also wanted to give a quick shoutout to SSENSE who were kind enough to list my Suki Waterhouse interview as one of their favs of the year, as well as include me in the small group of contributors they interrogated about various aspects of 2023. And for those who are wondering, my favorite, “most unexpected link up of the year” was easily the Boston Police Department and that metal playground slide.
Ok, I’ve vamped long enough, I know what you all really came here for. It’s hard to believe, but here’s your final Mess of 2023. And to kick off this sample platter of sartorial failures, allow me to offer you an amuse bouche in the form of a thirst trap to end all thirst traps.