Oprah owes us all an apology

Exactly how many egg yolks are in an egg yolk omelette?

Amanda Seyfried as Elizabeth Holmes horrified by her own invention.

Bonjour Messketeers!

And welcome back. Since we last spoke, it’s been all quiet here on the Western front. Too quiet if you ask me.

While every person I know had a total existential meltdown over the course of Mercury Retrograde, my life has been suspiciously smooth-sailing. In fact, there…