🚨MAJOR MESS ANNOUNCEMENT🚨
Jen Shah and Elizabeth Holmes reporting for poop duty.
Hi, Messketeers!
So. As promised, I have big news to share with you. On Monday, I’m going to start my new job as digital editor of Interview magazine. That’s right. They’re trusting me to run the whole website! What the hell! This is how the Mess agenda wins!!!!
What does this change for you, my most trusted and loyal advisers through thick and thin?? Literally nothing. Mess will continue exactly as it has always been, completely uninterrupted and uninfluenced by anyone’s opinions but my own unhinged ones. One of my major concerns even talking about theoretically taking this job was that it would impact these weekly diatribes with you all and I have been reassured from the tippity top of this beloved media institution that Mess is not a problem and we can continue to yap on as we see fit.
That said, this is going to be a big adjustment for me given that I have not worked in an office in legit six years. So, for now, I’m simply going to scale back on the unbelievable volume of newsletters I send out every week until I get into this new groove and have a better idea of what my schedule will look like. I will send out just the classic Friday email every week alternating between free and paid letters with potentially some bonus paywalled content and red carpet roundups should inspiration suddenly strike. And given the Met Gala is right around the corner, I have a strong feeling it shall. YouTube will continue on exactly as it’s always been with two videos a month, as will the podcast and the book club. In fact, there’s a new pod episode coming out on Monday and we just announced our next book pick this morning — Our Aesthetic Categories by Sianne Ngai.
I’m very excited about this new venture with Interview and I think we’re going to do extremely cool things together. They are perhaps the only magazine that so thoroughly shares my taste and perspective on pop culture and are also cool enough to actually take risks on what it means to be a magazine online in 2026. It also doesn’t hurt that I get to learn from and work directly with the GOAT Mel Ottenberg who has genuinely been one of my idols since I was a wee fashion closet intern. I can’t wait to start cooking up some crazy stuff for y’all over there and hope you’ll bear with me as we figure out this new chapter of Mess together <3
Now, here’s all the slop you actually came here for.
Ok. I’m going to begin today with an extremely last minute addition to this email, but I just stumbled across it on my Instagram feed while composing this missive and it is truly everything this newsletter stands for incapsulated in a singular garment so I must alert you to its existence. Poster Girl has created a Guinness World Record-certified “world’s most expensive C-string.” I’m not sure they had any competition in that department, but regardless, exquisite! Also, I did not know these things were called C-strings and I feel like that is crucial intel that is going to guide us through the next few years of extreme red carpet nudity. Not only is this exactly the type of codpiece I’ve been clamoring for since last year’s Pornhub Awards decreed them to be the next big trend in overexposure, but it’s also encrusted in 2000 diamonds with 34 rare pink diamonds spelling out the brand’s logo as well as a “sakura diamond” tail. I’m positively delighted and enchanted by this development. Now, how do we get this on a celebrity stat? And how do we convince all the prosthetic butthole people to start bedazzling those bad boys??
Jugular Jabots Abound
With the thrill of multi-million-dollar C-strings now behind us, I also just wanted to give you a little update on the state of the ruff by pointing out these two Zendaya fits. She’s been having an extremely flounce-heavy week, first in this Bluemarine Fall 2026 dress and then again more abstractly in custom Louis Vuitton. And both looks just got me thinking a bit more about this nape garnish and where it comes from.
According to my googles, the ruff was a popular fashion element from the mid-16th century to the mid-17th century (i.e. much of the Elizabethan era) and was initially intended as a way to keep people’s outfits clean so they could just launder the neckpiece instead of the whole look. But their impracticality ultimately led them to become a symbol of wealth and status, and one day I will learn that every historical trend I discuss in these pages inevitably leads back to loud class signifiers.
Over their century of popularity, ruffs evolved in both diameter and ornate material as the use of starch and irons allowed them to stay stiffer in increasingly elaborate shapes. And the more elaborate the ruff, the more folds, the more fabric it used and thus the more expensive it became. It also proved that the wearer had many servants as they were hard to put on and required a lot of labor to keep the ruff clean and fold it back into shape after every wear. And, just as with the return of the New Look’s pannier hips I wrote about last year, the ruff also seriously encumbers the wearer, forcing them to maintain a certain posture and keeping them from bending down or even seeing beneath them, let alone doing any physically demanding labor. In other words, another trend that perfectly reflects our current moment of extreme wealth disparity, as well as the true definition of quiet luxury.
Fowl Play
Zendaya’s many public appearances this week also reconfirmed for me that something decidedly fowl is afoot. The hens are loose in the barnyard. Poultry is paramount. It surely won’t be too much longer now until we can buy a carton of luxury house-branded eggs.
Mess Muse Rising
A Messketeer DM’d me on Instagram to alert me to some intriguing fashions transpiring at the Juno Awards that might be up my alley, and indeed they were. The most notable look of that red carpet came to us courtesy of the rapper SadBoi who, after a quick scroll through her social media, I quickly realized is a Mess Muse on the rise. A fact that was confirmed for me upon spotting my eternal founts of inspirations, the Clermont Twins, in her Instagram comments. A surefire sign I’m on the right track.
Anyway, the gown she wore to the Junos was pretty standard sex shop attire imo, but I must applaud anyone attempting to do a sensuous take on Borat’s mankini. And I think what ultimately makes this fit compelling for me anew is the juxtaposition between this overexposed garment and the more sinister styling with the wet hair, glittery double black eye, and Chrome Hearts-inspired grill without a stitch of bling. It’s goth with a video vixen twist. I also enjoyed the dress she changed into for the award show, although I do wish the phantom hands clutching her chest were much more convincingly robust. Even so, it’s very reminiscent of designs we’ve seen from Schiaparelli and Robert Wun lately and, most notably to my elder millennial mind, that collection Yoko Ono made with Opening Ceremony that I honestly can’t believe we haven’t seen anyone famous revive from the archives as it was actually 60 years ahead of its time.
I Wanna Be Your Dog
Canadian Drag Race season one winner Priyanka and rapper bbno$ brought the public into another dom-sub dynamic against our will on this red carpet, once again mainstreaming kink to a degree I never would’ve previously imagined. And while it’s a solid showing of power dynamics, personally, I still prefer Julio Torres and Martine Gutierrez’s human ashtray take. But hey, anything that puts dog collars and ball gags center stage on a step and repeat is A-OK in my book.
Enter the Hyperreal
I was also charmed to stumble upon these prosthetic horns worn by Belgian musician Apashe. A simple yet effective means of communicating one’s bad boy status. I don’t love that they’re so perfectly matched to look like his real flesh, but I suppose that is the hyperreal fashion era we are currently living through. But who will commit to getting these tusks installed as a permanent body mod? I feel like Uzi Vert got skittish after his many failed third-eye diamond attempts, but I could see this being something that would very much appeal to his sensibilities.
I was also quite taken with the singer Begonia’s accidental ET fingers. Upon further investigation, I discovered that she actually made these gloves herself with leftover press-ons and “1 ton of gorilla glue.” It also looks like she is wearing these gloves with fake nails atop the real acrylic nails on her actual hands thus creating this incredible extendo-digit effect. As always, it instantly reminded me of those extreme body mod twin pranksters from the early aughts I won’t stop mentioning, but one of their hoaxes was literally that he had grafted his ring finger from one hand onto his ring finger on the other to make a double-long finger! A look that practically screams beam me up, Scotty.
Shoot the Moon
But I think my absolute favorite look from the Canadian Grammys has to go to Hayley Gene Penner who brought along her baby as the ultimate accessory. There is something so iconic to me about these being the only two images that exist of this woman at this event. It is communicating loud and clear that this is a work function that she has deigned to bless with her and her child’s presence. Her attendance is perfunctory. The baby’s noice canceling headphones likewise confirm this is merely a short pit stop in their night of familial revelry. Divas all around.
This is also exactly what I mean when I’ve talked to you in the past about radically underdressing on a fancy red carpet as a means of making everyone else look extremely stuffy and try-hard. This is sartorially shooting the moon done right. She has so wildly quotidian-mogged at this event, everyone else should honestly be embarrassed they even showed up.
Nano Dress
And Zara Larsson proved this week that the power the adult entertainment industry wields over Hollywood attire remains unparalleled because once again porn stars have foretold our fashion future. The pop star donned this tube dress that transforms her into an animate iPod Nano to promote her album which I think is a fabulous idea. Largely because I thought it was a fabulous idea when an actress at the XMA Awards did this last year, fashioning a bandeau top completely out of defunct rainbow-hued iPod Nanos. I would still like to see more garments composed of real discarded technology of the past, however, this is a solid runner-up. But I do think Zara could’ve taken this to the next level by making the whole look more tactile and interactive. At the very least, I feel like this garment needs a functional click wheel that she could spin to start playing her new single….
She Sells Seashells
And the last thought I’ll leave you with is that I spotted the inklings of a new trend out there this week — dresses covered in iridescent discs which through extensive googling I have now learned are windowpane oyster shells! Rei Ami attended the Hannah Montana anniversary event in this pearlescent Datt set and Jordyn Woods wore a mini dress that appears to be by the same brand to her bachelorette party. Both are very mermaid DIY project just in time for summer and also very budget-friendly McQueen, which sounds shady but I mean with all beneficence in my heart. Mostly, I’m just pumped about this look taking off because I imagine that all those shells clacking and jangling about as these ladies move is quite loud and I’ve been gunning for outfits that incorporate the dimension of sound for a hot minute now.
Ok, well, I gotta go sit back and say……. Wow…… so that’s been Mess for today. I’ll see you back here next Friday for another gluttonous download of highfalutin nonsense and a full report on my first week at work (!!!). Talk soon, Messketeers, and have a fabulous weekend!
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Wow, congratulations! What a meaty role…well deserved!
Amazing news - well done! x