I am now a Taylor Swift height conspiracy theorist

Farewell to the Sonny and Cher of our generation

Bienvenido Messketeers,

I’m back stateside and, for the first time in a long time, I have absolutely no idea what a Kardashian wore last night, I can’t break down the newest celeb beef in minute detail, and, worst of all, I am way out of the loop on the latest Twitter inside jokes. Alas, this is the price I must pay for leaving the country for five days …