Feeling fempathic!
I'm not understanding a lot of these Wuthering Heights press tour looks.
Hiya,
Hope you’re all well! I’m coming to you a day late in solidarity with the general strike. I figured delaying this email by 24 hours is quite literally the absolute least I can do to say a big ol’ fuck you to ICE, so why not.
As I’m sure you know, New York is currently a winter wonderland and whenever temperatures dip into the teens I always feel my New Hampshire upbringing kicking in in full force. I love the cold and I love the snow, even if it means I’ve spent much of this week bounding over filthy puddles of grime and hurdling 5-foot-tall hard-packed mounds of snow. Navigating from point A to point B feels like a game of Wipeout, but it does make me deeply appreciative for the thousands of New Yorkers who pre-trampled those footprints through the piles of powder before me so that I could daintily step upon where they trod.
I made a lot of random New Year’s resolutions for 2026, one of which is taking more photos of my outfits as a means of just documenting myself more in general. But one of the major challenges for me in achieving that goal is that my current full-length mirror isn’t actually full length as it cannot capture the entirety of my body unless I am standing very, very far away from it. So after much deliberation and coming to the realization that these large pieces of warped glass are wildly overpriced, I finally bought a generic extra-tall one from Ikea. It is not cute, but it’ll get the job done. So expect to see even more of my attire on the ‘gram in the very near future. That is once the mirror gets delivered at any point during the TWELVE HOUR DELIVERY WINDOW. No worries. Not like I wanted to leave my apartment at all that day anyway.
Now, in regards to today’s title, “fempathy” is a word that Jameela Jamil made up in defense of her “unredacted and leaked” text messages with her publicist that were published as part of discovery in the Lively v. Baldoni case as her publicist is also Justin’s publicist. She clarified that she is not apologetic for calling Blake a “suicide bomber” because she was going to war on behalf of her friend, explaining, “I call it fempathy. It’s a specifically female experience that I love, and it’s why we don’t have a female loneliness epidemic. Because we ride at dawn for each other.” And I’m just obsessed with needlessly gendering the word empathy and saying men aren’t capable of it, thus only furthering a sexist stereotype lmao.
I’m also the last person on earth to officially become addicted to The Pitt. I watched every episode I could get my grubby little hands on while snowed in this week. I thought it would be too medically gruesome for me to stomach and it is in fact too medically gruesome for my delicate constitution, but I love the interpersonal drama so much I am finding all new ways to cover my eyes without missing any crucial plot points.
I was also forced to watch Ryan Murphy’s The Beauty this week because we discussed it on the new episode of the podcast and I just need to express that we MUST stop allowing this man make television. Absolutely abysmal stuff. And not even in a fun Double Team kind of way! I could rip this thing apart for hours (and I do on the new ep out next week!).
We also had another fantastic Lowbrow Book Club meeting on Monday night where we broke down the many appearances of Cultish language in our everyday lives. We’re going to be announcing our next pick for February live on Monday at 4pm est and I think it’s going to be a super fascinating read that I’m excited to discuss with you all more in depth, so make sure to tune in for that and sign up for the newsletter.
Oh, and I have a veryyyy exciting Grammys-related surprise for you all next week, so keep a look out for that in your inbox on Monday!!
Ok, here we go, I guess!
To begin with, as promised, I must keep you abreast of all developments in the Beckham-Peltz debacle. And the latest is the Daily Mail is annoyed that the duo are capitalizing on this controversy both by plugging the hot sauce almost no one (but us) knows exists and taking meetings about a “7-figure tell-all.” But personally, as I told paid subs during our livestream chat on Monday, they simply MUST capitalize on this moment because it’s quite probably the only moment they will ever have. They need to be milking this drama for everything it is worth. Honestly, Nicola should be plugging that flop film of hers all over again! And if they’re going to write this book, they need to get that ghost writer writing now because if it’s not out in 6 months, it’s useless.
We also came up with a brilliant business move for Brooklyn in our livestream chat, which is he needs to link up with Prince Harry and get to working on a FailSon podcast and Red Table Talk-esque family therapy Facebook show immediately. Together, I believe they could force people into paying attention to them for just a little bit longer.
2026 Trends Realized
And I have two more quick updates for you all on the 2026 trend front. The first being, please regard Doja Cat’s extremely long, extremely flat eyebrows on the cover of MAC’s advertorial magazine. People on YouTube were commenting that the shape is Vulcan inspired and I realized they’re so right, so Vulcan brows they shall be called henceforth.
And then Bella Hadid posted these photos of herself aboard a yacht wearing this vintage 2001 Jean Paul Gaultier dress with multi butt cheek cutouts. An ensemble that further bolsters my claim that 2026 is NOT in fact the year of the crack, but rather the year of creative crack concealment. And, as I said back when Cardi was flashing her rear, in the cleft’s absence I believe the cheek is neutralized. It becomes yet another vague expanse of flesh without context, like an oblique or a strip of upper thigh.
Ad Busters
And I now have a random smattering of marketing related thoughts I must share with you. For starters, why the hell is a billionaire trying to sell me “cutting jelly”? And how, as an A-list celebrity, do you even hear the words “cutting jelly” and think, ah yes, the perfect fit for my brand. Clearly, when she said it’s the return of King Kylie she meant it quite literally. FitTea diuretics, waist trainers, and all.
My second thought is that between this runway show appearance and his suit at the Golden Globes, Connor Storrie is doing enormous things for the Saint Laurent brand and they better have shot his campaign yesterday. This young man is wearing the hell out of their clothes and they are fools if they don’t capitalize on this much organic chicness.
And finally, Sydney Sweeney’s Amazon-backed lingerie brand is predictably a mess (derogatory). I mean, from the jump, would you pronounce that word as siren?? Because my instinct is to pronounce it like CERN, as in the place where they keep the Large Hadron Collider.
Also, as I discussed at length on the paid subs livestream, the un-permitted Hollywood sign stunt was ill-conceived for a number of reasons and I think Tana Mongeau stated the issue perfectly on TikTok — Syd is courting entirely the wrong demographic with this venture.
But most of all, I just wanted to bring up this picture because I find the choice to put the phrase “marry me fly free” on a tiny tee to be utterly baffling. So baffling I googled the phrase and now I only have even more questions. Apparently, this was a common saying in the 60s and 70s about marrying an airline employee…..ok……and what the hell does that have to do with anything. And then google’s stupid AI was kind enough to inform me that this phrase is also “often found on apparel from sites like Etsy and Amazon” and now it’s all crystal clear to me. Sweeney definitely just let the algorithm take the wheel and never asked questions.
Mess Couture
Over at couture week in Paris, I saw two ensembles at the Schiaparelli show that I wanted to quickly address with you. One was Demi Moore’s teeny-tiny double donut hat. I love it. It’s Cynthia Erivo’s epaulettes reimagined to give real Teletubby energy. I actually wish she didn’t wear the matching jacket because I feel like the fascinator demands its standalone moment to shine, and it also needs to be further forward on her head.
A number of readers also tagged me in Teyana Taylor’s look for various reasons but no one surmised the one aspect of the look I’m actually fixated on which is the monster platform heel. I maintain we must innovate on this footwear. The hoof with the spindly heel is feeling very dated to me and I crave a fresh stilt shape.
As for the lace slip, I was struck by how very nude the look is yet still totally sexless. With the perfectly matched bra and briefs, the effect is extremely automaton. And I think wearing replicas of the jewels stolen from the Louvre is a pretty corny gimmick, like Balenciaga making the Heart of the Ocean necklace. But I have said in the past that I want rich people to start casually wearing tiaras again, so I suppose I must support Teyana wearing both a circlet and a crown regardless of cheug factor.
Winter Wonderland
Over at Sundance, there was some fabulous weather-based dressing. Chase Sui Wonders wore a fur-trimmed Anna Sui Fall 1998 dress with matching hood and fluffy mules. And this is how I learned that Anna Sui is her aunt and now I feel stupid that I didn’t realize that nepo connection sooner. But even so, this is a very fun fashion choice that I think only further underscores the appeal of seasonal Mrs. Claus dressing as I pointed out the other month.
Charli XCX gave us this cottage-core take on the rain poncho George W Bush got tangled in at Trump’s first inauguration. She also gave us what has now become a classic celeb winter vacay Instagram shot in a fur coat and bikini, but I do think she did it with a lot more aplomb than most. And, personally, I think this should’ve been The Moment premiere red carpet look complete with glass of champagne in hand.
The Black Tape Project
As I was clearly closely monitoring Charli’s sartorial goings-on this week, the algorithm began aggressively feeding me her stylist Chris Horan’s content as well. Which is how I stumbled upon this cover he worked on for the singer Adéla that stopped me dead in my tracks because, my friends, is this or is this not the Black Tape Project fashion future that was promised?!
Real ones who have been rocking with me for a minute now will recall those Miami fashion shows I was obsessed with where all the models just wore electrical tape cut into increasingly elaborate kinesiology-inspired designs. And the above is VERY MUCH that!!! I said it back in 2023 and I’ll say it again, I still believe this type of stick-on strapless g-string — dare I say codpiece! — could unlock a whole new world of very nude dressing.
Roided Out
And on the topic of musicians reviving classic Mess attire, I just remembered I saved this photo of Ca7riel and Paco Amoroso performing on The Tonight Show that I forgot to share with you all the other week. Just two dudes in a gorgeous set of muscle suits bringing all of my George Michael Bluth prophesies to fruition at long last. Look at what JoJo Siwa hath wrought! Much as with Teyana the other week, I’m thrilled to see that the legacy of Build-A-Body lives on. Just look at Charli XCX at the Wuthering Heights premiere this week!!
Rattail Rennaissance
And finally, the great Mess Muse has spoken, and what she has to say should shake all of us to our cores because it appears Rita is betting big on being the woman to single-handedly bring back the rattail. I haven’t seen one of these bad boys since my days on the 90s schoolyard, but I’ve been girding myself for the return of these extra long strands of nape hair ever since.
Ok well, I’m late for a tendies date with Travis and Rick so I gotta hustle on out of here. But thanks so much for reading and I’ll see you back at Mess HQ next week with a VERY special Grammys red carpet discussion, a new podcast episode, and a special Friday email for paid subs only. Talk soon, Messketeers!!
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Wow, I’m growing out a rat tail now… this is very exciting. Talk Girl was my original inspiration, I need more of her energy lately 😬
Travis Scott eating KFC (tenders!) with a fork is apparently the last straw for me this week